Pride and humility
26/01/16 05:32
I grew up with mixed messages about pride. One the one hand, we learned the famous verse from Proverbs: “Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall. It is better to be of a lowly spirit with the poor than to divide the spoil with the proud.” (Proverbs 16:18-19). On the other hand, our high school held regular pride days and spoke of school spirit in relationship to athletic victories. We also were taught to be proud of our community, proud of our country, and often were in places where pride was spoken of as a positive attitude.
What I don’t think I learned as a child, something that took years to begin to discover, is humility. I guess that I discovered fairly early in my life that a bit of self-deprecating humor could be of value. However, a little bit can go a long ways. While well-timed humor can provide a release from tension, too much can sound like belittling or self flagellation.
Genuine humility is significantly different.
Humility is based in honest assessment, not in some kind of pretend, which is often the case with self deprecation. Humility is the opposite of exaggeration. Knowing one’s weaknesses as well as one’s strengths can give one an accurate picture both of one’s calling and of one’s abilities.
Humility has another quality as well. While pride tends to distinguish one from others, humility helps one to see similarities and commonness between self and others. Humility invites one into a community.
Humility, it would seem, isn’t a quality favored by those running for President of the United States. It also seems that it isn’t a quality that voters are looking for. Perhaps no one becomes President by making humility one’s major selling point. It certainly isn’t a quality that is associated with leadership very often.
The message of my childhood, a message that is still prevalent in our culture today, is that humility doesn’t lead to success. You have to have pride in order to succeed.
The insight that I have come slowly to understand is that personal success isn’t the most important type of success. While pride may help one achieve wealth or fame or even political office, it focuses on the individual. Humility allows one to see the value of community. Humility can be a great asset to a leader. I have had the privilege of being a part of successful and growing congregations because I have been able to see myself as a part of those communities. Knowing that we have much in common, that we are all human and make mistakes, and that the task is bigger than any one of us helps one to recognize that we are interdependent. We are all in this together and we need one another.
It was a basic insight of our Congregational forebears, who insisted that ministers belong to the congregations that they serve. In contrast to some other denominations, where ministers belong to a Presbytery, a Conference or some wider church body, our forebears insisted that ministers join and become members of the congregations that they serve. Local church membership is a basic requirement of the Christian life and a quality that is required for leadership.
There is no “us and them” when it comes to pastors and congregations. We all belong together.
While I may be called to a unique role in the community, I still am just one of many disciples in this place. We are all seeking to serve God together. We journey together. Our successes and failures are shared.
More importantly, it is important for me to remember that I am not somehow better than the people I serve. I am not more moral, more intelligent, more educated, or more of anything. I struggle at times just as the other members of the congregation do. Despite the attempts of some folks to place ministers on pedestals, we are not well-served by having too high an opinion of ourselves.
The gift that I seek is clarity of vision. When I am able to honestly see myself and honestly evaluate my strengths and weaknesses, I am able to contribute to the community in positive ways.
Unfortunately, most forms of pride are not as honest. Narcissism creates an unrealistic picture of self and the importance of one’s self in comparison to others. Hubris frequently leads to violence and other excessive behaviors. In the stories of the ancients, as well as in the Bible, these forms of pride eventually lead to loss of position, punishment, or some other form of correction.
These days I am cautious about pride, though I see displays of it all around me. There is nothing new or innovative about my caution. Literature is filled with tales of the ill effects of excessive pride. Milton’s “Paradise Lost,” Marlowe’s “Doctor Faustus,” and even Shelley’s “Frankenstein” are classic tales of the dangers of excessive pride.
I wonder, however, if it is pride or humility that causes me to tune out and pay less attention to the current political campaign and all of the bombastic rhetoric that surrounds us today. I have caught myself saying things like, “I’m not going to sink to their level,” and “I’m not one of the millions who sit passively glued to the television set.” There is an element of pride in the way that I think about our culture and my relationship to it. I use “up” and “down” and “height” to describe my relationship to others.
The truth is that I am not above others. I am a member of the community, a citizen of this nation and as deeply affected by all of the rhetoric as anyone else.
Being humble, however, does not demand that we blindly follow prideful leaders. In my case, being humble means spending more time with those who are on the fringes of the community - the ones who have been told they don’t belong.
The media won’t be covering the work I do. That, my friends, is a good thing.
What I don’t think I learned as a child, something that took years to begin to discover, is humility. I guess that I discovered fairly early in my life that a bit of self-deprecating humor could be of value. However, a little bit can go a long ways. While well-timed humor can provide a release from tension, too much can sound like belittling or self flagellation.
Genuine humility is significantly different.
Humility is based in honest assessment, not in some kind of pretend, which is often the case with self deprecation. Humility is the opposite of exaggeration. Knowing one’s weaknesses as well as one’s strengths can give one an accurate picture both of one’s calling and of one’s abilities.
Humility has another quality as well. While pride tends to distinguish one from others, humility helps one to see similarities and commonness between self and others. Humility invites one into a community.
Humility, it would seem, isn’t a quality favored by those running for President of the United States. It also seems that it isn’t a quality that voters are looking for. Perhaps no one becomes President by making humility one’s major selling point. It certainly isn’t a quality that is associated with leadership very often.
The message of my childhood, a message that is still prevalent in our culture today, is that humility doesn’t lead to success. You have to have pride in order to succeed.
The insight that I have come slowly to understand is that personal success isn’t the most important type of success. While pride may help one achieve wealth or fame or even political office, it focuses on the individual. Humility allows one to see the value of community. Humility can be a great asset to a leader. I have had the privilege of being a part of successful and growing congregations because I have been able to see myself as a part of those communities. Knowing that we have much in common, that we are all human and make mistakes, and that the task is bigger than any one of us helps one to recognize that we are interdependent. We are all in this together and we need one another.
It was a basic insight of our Congregational forebears, who insisted that ministers belong to the congregations that they serve. In contrast to some other denominations, where ministers belong to a Presbytery, a Conference or some wider church body, our forebears insisted that ministers join and become members of the congregations that they serve. Local church membership is a basic requirement of the Christian life and a quality that is required for leadership.
There is no “us and them” when it comes to pastors and congregations. We all belong together.
While I may be called to a unique role in the community, I still am just one of many disciples in this place. We are all seeking to serve God together. We journey together. Our successes and failures are shared.
More importantly, it is important for me to remember that I am not somehow better than the people I serve. I am not more moral, more intelligent, more educated, or more of anything. I struggle at times just as the other members of the congregation do. Despite the attempts of some folks to place ministers on pedestals, we are not well-served by having too high an opinion of ourselves.
The gift that I seek is clarity of vision. When I am able to honestly see myself and honestly evaluate my strengths and weaknesses, I am able to contribute to the community in positive ways.
Unfortunately, most forms of pride are not as honest. Narcissism creates an unrealistic picture of self and the importance of one’s self in comparison to others. Hubris frequently leads to violence and other excessive behaviors. In the stories of the ancients, as well as in the Bible, these forms of pride eventually lead to loss of position, punishment, or some other form of correction.
These days I am cautious about pride, though I see displays of it all around me. There is nothing new or innovative about my caution. Literature is filled with tales of the ill effects of excessive pride. Milton’s “Paradise Lost,” Marlowe’s “Doctor Faustus,” and even Shelley’s “Frankenstein” are classic tales of the dangers of excessive pride.
I wonder, however, if it is pride or humility that causes me to tune out and pay less attention to the current political campaign and all of the bombastic rhetoric that surrounds us today. I have caught myself saying things like, “I’m not going to sink to their level,” and “I’m not one of the millions who sit passively glued to the television set.” There is an element of pride in the way that I think about our culture and my relationship to it. I use “up” and “down” and “height” to describe my relationship to others.
The truth is that I am not above others. I am a member of the community, a citizen of this nation and as deeply affected by all of the rhetoric as anyone else.
Being humble, however, does not demand that we blindly follow prideful leaders. In my case, being humble means spending more time with those who are on the fringes of the community - the ones who have been told they don’t belong.
The media won’t be covering the work I do. That, my friends, is a good thing.